Land of the Free and Home of the Lawsuit

I read an interesting article this morning that stated that a federal judge in New York gave the go-ahead for a class action lawsuit against Cold Stone Creamery. Being the ice cream aficionado that I am, I immediately dug deeper. To my surprise, I found out that the suit stemmed from their pistachio flavor... not being nutty enough. The lead plaintiff, Jenna Marie Duncan, takes issue with numerous other flavors as well, claiming that customers expect the ingredient namesake to be present in these flavors. Instead, scoops such as mango, orange, and mint contain only artificial concoctions designed to mimic these flavors.

Of course, this opens a huge can of worms. I mean, how many banana-flavored things actually taste like bananas? And should I expect my phish food Ben & Jerry's to contain marine life? We can spend the rest of this blog delving into the intricacies of ice cream flavors, but that isn't what piqued my curiosity. Have you ever wondered why coffee cups need to be labeled as "Caution: Hot", or why scooters need to display that the product moves when used? It may seem stupid, but product disclaimers are written in lawsuits. Today, let's take a look at some of the most outrageous attempted lawsuits.

Overton vs. Anheuser-Busch

Have you ever seen a beer commercial? Often, they're represented by good weather, good people, and good entertainment. In 1991 this was no different, when Anheuser-Busch aired a commercial for Bud Light which depicted that consuming the beverage would whisk you away to a scenic tropical paradise, full of music and beautiful people. However, when Richard Overton drank his can of Bud Light, he found himself still at home. His solution? To sue. Overton's complaint specified that this portrayal led him to suffer emotional distress, mental injury, and financial losses due to the deceptive nature of the advertisements.

Of course, most people would see an ad like that and think nothing of it. However, Richard Overton believed that this case held legal grounds. He cited Michigan's Pricing and Advertising Act, which prevents misleading advertising. Unfortunately for him, most people would be right. The case was swiftly dismissed as Anheuser-Busch's advertisement was regarded as "puffery": when visuals are so exaggerated that it would be unreasonable for them to be true.

Gomez vs. Jelly Belly Candy Company

When I was a child, I was shocked to discover that chocolate contained sugar. No really, it was unfathomable to me how sugar, which I knew to be granulated, would ever fit into a Dairy Milk Bar. Granted, I was maybe five years old, and believing this any older might be cause for concern. This is not the case for Jessica Gomez, apparently, who sued Jelly Belly once she discovered that their jellybeans contain sugar.

In Gomez's defense, this is a bit of a gross generalization. Her concern was with the use of "evaporated cane juice" on the ingredient list instead of "sugar", claiming that this would mislead consumer purchasing decisions, especially athletes looking for a nutritious snack. Jelly Belly promptly turned around and pointed to their nutritional information, which clearly stated the sugar content of their candy. Of course, the case was dismissed.

The Subway Footlong Lawsuit

Have you been to Subway recently? Me neither. I remember when you used to be able to get a footlong sandwich for $5. Last year, I was craving a meatball and walked out almost $18 poorer. I'm not alone in my beef against Subway. In 2013, an Australian teenager posted a photo of their footlong Subway measuring only 11 inches. This post went viral and led to the start of a class action lawsuit in the United States.

The lawsuit garnered significant media attention and claimed that Subway was being deceitful in the labeling of their sandwiches. Subway fought back, detailing their food-making practices and claiming that the length of bread does not affect the quantity of food a customer receives. They were mostly right and therefore settled for a measly $500,000. Adding insult to injury, almost this whole sum went directly to the plaintiff's lawyers.

And those are just some of the reasons I love this country. Jokes aside, lawsuits are never pleasant affairs but they are often necessary. It is an important cornerstone of the legal system that ensures a solution to any number or personal or corporate issues. I mean, if you suffered damages, would you want a way to fight for your compensation?